Are You The Moneyed Spouse? How to Save Legal Fees in a Divorce.

Are You The Moneyed Spouse? How to Save Legal Fees in a Divorce.

In a divorce, the new laws require the court to calculate spousal support and child support and to direct the moneyed spouse to pay the legal fees (all or part) for the non-moneyed spouse. So, if you earn for example you earn $300,000.00 per year and your spouse earns $50,000.00 per year, a court will direct you to pay spousal support and legal fees in addition to child support if there are children. So, if you leave the marital residence, do not wait for a judge to order you to pay. Find out from a lawyer what a court would order you to pay, and pay 95% to 100% of that amount voluntarily. And if your spouse retains an attorney, voluntarily send him or her check for legal fees, a reasonable amount, not too low or high. Read more →

Yup, Divorce Sucks, Deal With It

Yup, Divorce Sucks, Deal With It

Maybe you did not ask or want to get divorced, but you’re in court now for divorce and custody, as well as all the other issues, including but not limited to: equitable distribution of assets and debts; and spousal and/or child support. You want to drag it out to keep the family under one roof until your youngest graduates high school. You remember stories of your friends who went it through it and it dragged out for over four years. Not anymore due to the new laws and rules. But how are you going to afford to live without your spouse’s income added to yours and having to deduct support payments? Don’t ask me, but there are those who find a way with less than you earn. Yes, they do pay less in support, and have even less left over. Read more →

How to Prove Your Custody Case

How to Prove Your Custody Case

In a custody case, whether part of a divorce or not, you need to prove what you allege to be fact. Words alone are insufficient but too often are all the court has to go on. If you claim to be the primary caregiver how do you plan to prove it?

When you drive the children to school, do you just drop them off and pick them up curbside or do you get out of the car, and interact with other parents and school personnel? Do you attend school activities open to parents by standing in the back, or by intermingling? Do you supervise their homework but not sign their notebook? When you take them to the doctor or dentist, do you drop them off and pick them up or do you get out and go in with them to check them in and speak with the professional? Do you drop them off and pick them at their friend’s homes for play dates or do you walk to the door and socialized with their friend’s parents? Read more →

Whose Divorce Is This?

Whose Divorce Is This?

It is just incredible how many people retain an attorney for their divorce, want it over as fast as possible, but do not do anything required of him or her. Too often clients will call and ask when will it be over, and my snarky retort is: how do I know, I do not even know when you will give me the documents I requested from you and list of facts so that I can pursue your divorce. No matter how great a lawyer you hire is, your lawyer will always be limited by you! If your divorce is not a priority to you, you have your priorities screwed up. Read more →

Orders of Protection and How They Can be Fun – Not!

Orders of Protection and How They Can be Fun – Not!

If you are the victim of domestic violence, call 911 immediately. If necessary, run into the bathroom and lock the door and then call 911. Tell the police you have locked yourself in the bathroom and will not come out until they arrive. If there are children in the house, inform the police of that too. When they arrive, tell the police you want the person who victimized you arrested. If asked if you want him or her taken to Family Court or to Criminal Court, always answer Criminal Court. If the police try to dissuade you from criminal court in favor of family court because the person to be arrested is the children’s mother or father, tell them: “criminal court.” Read more →

Penney Wise and Dollar Foolish!

Penney Wise and Dollar Foolish!

I have been seeing too many divorces wherein a spouse used a lawyer who was a relative (who never handled a divorce before) and paid nearly nothing for it.  The case may have settled as the now ex-spouse wanted fro very little cost, but the settlement agreement lacked the provisions and terms that could have protected that’s spouse against being brought back into court now.  But now that he or she is back in court, to save money once again, that person went to other relatives who are lawyers (and do not handle divorces) and the right things were NOT done in that person’s defense, who should have mounted an offense as well as provided better documentation in their defense.   Read more →

If You Have Children But Were Never Married.

If You Have Children But Were Never Married.

I recently took over a child custody case shortly before trial in Family Court of an out of wedlock child and no acknowledgment of paternity.  The prior attorney filed for custody on behalf of the client, but not for paternity.  The mother and child had gone on vacation to another state but never returned and this was filed two months after they left New York State.  The mother’s lawyer ignored the defect until she and the child were in the other state long enough so that the father could not re-file in New York State.  Read more →

If Your Lawyer Tells You Do Not Pay It or Stop Paying It.

If Your Lawyer Tells You Do Not Pay It or Stop Paying It.

Too often I have taken over a divorce and or custody case to find my new client stopped paying a legal obligation, such as court ordered support or mortgage or rent payments.  When I ask why, the answer is my prior lawyer told me to stop, that I do not have to it.  I ask did your lawyer tell you this in writing? No is always the answer.  I guarantee that even if the prior lawyer said this, he or she would deny it.  Remember, the Courts expect you to try to blame the prior lawyer.  Here are a few examples I have encountered. Read more →

Have You Heard Both Sides Before you Formed Your Opinion and Took Sides? It Always Takes Two.

Have You Heard Both Sides Before you Formed Your Opinion and Took Sides? It Always Takes Two.

Seems too often in breakups, including divorce and child custody disputes, we hear only person’s side of the breakup and blindly believe that person, especially the woman (I believe this is due to sexism thinking the woman is the weaker one needing greater protection).  During consultations, I tell people I can only access their case based on the facts he or she tells me that day, but as the case unfolds and proofs are had, my legal opinion/analysis may change.  In every break up, there is his story and her story, or his story and his story, or her story and her story, and then the truth that we may never know.  And just because what one person did on the surface may seem horrible, does not mean the other person was without fault.  Let’s look at a few hypothetical situations (this does not include all situations and there are always exceptions, “ifs,” “ands” and “buts”): Read more →

Is Your Divorce Important to You?

Is Your Divorce Important to You?

You need to make your divorce, and all of its issues most important to you, inclusive of child custody, visitation and financial issues such as spousal and/or child support and equitable distribution.  When your lawyer asks you for information and or documentation, you need to show your case is a priority to you and respond timely.  If your lawyer has to chase you down for information and/or documents he or she needs to properly represent you, it tells your lawyer that you do not really care, so why should he or she? By not getting done for court what needs to be done, the judge thinks you do not care as well.  Then you are really in a hole. Read more →